Monday, May 8, 2017

Golden Slumbers

For reasons I'm aware and those I'm not, I must get what's in, out. But where? I thought and decided here's the place. So I'll start. Or pick up. I actually have no idea where I'm going with this story. All I know is, in the end, I'd only just begun.

I once lived a fairly normal existence. Scars were later worn proudly. Overnight, exterior ache bore inward and back into the normal flow of life I fell.

Others worried about me. I shrugged it off, until later seeing what they saw. I grew to understand survival and struggled with the transition back into everyday life.

If I wasn't the before me, or the me who cared for Aviana. Who was I? I kind of had a good idea of who, but hadn't a clue where I belonged or how to get there.

I fumbled, wandering the forest. I was grateful to be back at the lake, but struggled with what to do with myself. What could be as important as taking care of Avi? To focus and because figuring took all my energy, I turned in. The last I wanted to speak of was more of this, so I either kept my mouth shut or saved it for Dave, Rainey, Aviana, God, or nature. They carried me through... but at times, this was a lot of weight for (Dave) few to carry.


6 comments:

  1. Miss and love you, my beautiful friend! ♥♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss you too. For your birthday, come see us : )

      Delete
  2. I was just thinking about you tonight Jen and came to your blog again and smiled when I saw your post. I hope you are all well. Our Star who looks just like sweet Kama is 17 now, moving a lot slower but still as sweet as ever. How is Rainey?
    Marianne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HI Marianne -

      I was so happy to see your and Star's names. Thank you for your message. I'm happy to hear Star is doing well. Rainey is loving Tahoe. We take her hiking, swimming in the lake, she bounds through the snow. And Dave takes her back country skiing and mountain bike riding. She turned seven and somehow got more lovey. Dave was worried about 7 because we lost both our girls at that age... I think Rainey knows and that's why the extra love and cuddles <3

      Wishing you a beautiful day.

      Love!

      Delete
  3. So glad to see a post from you. But always thinking of you guys. Write whatever, whenever. It's for you to use to help YOU!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Gina!

      How are you and that beautiful family of yours? Thank you for being so sweet <3

      Love you!

      Delete