Sunday, October 9, 2016

Dear Diary

There was a time I couldn't speak, but to you I could.

Back and forth I'd go, home and to the seven-floor building.

Stuffed and stored,

To you, I'd empty my day.

While most slept, you were awake for how alone, but alive I felt.

You understood how both could exist in the same breath.

You held my hand through the worst,

And smiled at our best.

But then we lost her.

And I clung.

"If she's okay, then I am too."

But that only carried me so far.

And losing her became losing her again.

I wondered how both could exist in the same breath.

I was full of words,

Yet none at all.

I tired of my own voice,

So I lost it.

And myself too.

To figure my life out,

I turned in.

While my nephew was recently back in Portugal I said,

"Sometimes you have to go away to find yourself, Ash."

Hmmm.

Funny how when talking to him or students,

I'm often speaking to myself.

Yes, I had to go away.

Have I found myself?

More than before,

But still taking each day as it comes.

My Dearest Diary,

I've missed you.

How are things, love?

5 comments:

  1. Good to hear from you, Jen. Still think of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Stephanie, it's nice to see you too. Thank you for thinking of us. I hope you're well : ))

      Delete
  2. We've missed you too. Yes, sometimes we need to go away to find ourselves. I love that. And I love you. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  3. So happy to "hear" from you and I think of you often! I hope you check in again soon! xoxo Shannon

    ReplyDelete