Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Faster Than the Speed of Life

I've been gone so long! I can and can't believe it! So much has happened! I was on the brink of finally writing my Rainey post, but suddenly things veered off in a whole new direction.

This husband of mine. Every time we're in Tahoe, he's had to listen to me ramble on for at least the past 13 years. Sometimes it's a sweet whisper - other times - it's more like a roar! But always, it's about the same.

"Let's pack it up beezee. Come on. Let's leave. We'll find a way. I'll bartend or wait tables again. You'll work...I don't know? We'll figure it out! The fresh air. The trees. The birds. Look! Did you see those little chipmunks chasing each other! Just imagine waking up to this everyday."

Over the many years, my desperate pleas were always met with the same sort of something -

"I know, but we can't. We'd be so isolated. Not now. I don't want to work in residential engineering. I really don't want Aviana growing up in such a small town. Someday. When we retire..."

I was always left flat and deflated - especially after the accident. Once we were rocked, the already burning fire turned inferno! It all made perfect, logical, sense to me - if all could end in a second, we had to be where we loved. But we are two, so even if I didn't agree, I still respected Dave's opinion. With our heads down, tails between our legs, and our eyes crying out all the way home - Rainey and I would succumb...each and every time. Dramatic? I don't think so.

* * *

I woke in Tahoe before Dave on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend - the birds chirping, the sun streaking beautifully through the windows, and the crisp air breezing perfectly through the sliding glass door. With each visit, I'm overcome - as if I'm experiencing all that surrounds for the very first time. As Dave was waking I eased in, but in true me fashion...I quickly gained steam. I couldn't help it. I was taken by all this single room, on an average everyday morning had to offer. I wanted to share.

This time was different. He was different. There was pause. The sounds, which next danced about and through my ears were foreign. They were completely unfamiliar, but in the most beautiful way. It's as though I were sitting, just staring at this someone, and even though I couldn't understand one single irresistible word falling forth, all I could do was smile because I knew whatever the language, the words - they were good. They were all good! Those sounds twirled and swirled around in the empty space of the moment until finally, I came to, and realized everything they meant. That single sentence was like few others of my lifetime. "Yeah, I've actually been looking at companies in Tahoe for the past year, or so."

From there, the whirlwind began. I didn't know, but Dave was already, not one, but two feet out the door. He'd already made up his mind. He had a project due towards the end of June, so the first day we were going to be able to turn in resumes just so happened to be our anniversary. With my whole heart, I believe in signs. I had the best, most relaxed, feeling.

He was working crazy hours on his project, but in-between we found slivers of time to update his cover letter and resume. I would mock him. I mean, I would mock interview him! And then, we were off! I couldn't think of a better way to spend the weekend of our Lucky Number 13!

* * * 

On that very first night's drive home, I had asked Dave why the change of heart. The main reason, our forever reason is always Aviana. Everything we say, do, think and feel - somehow, someway, always leads back to Aviana and all she showed us. Actually, all she gave us.

After the accident we realized death is real. It isn't something that happens to other people. Something truly life changing really happened to us, and we know it can strike again at any time, and any age. For that reason, we try to live our lives to the fullest everyday. We really try to avoid waiting for anything. We know how both precious, yet fragile life is - that said - we understand we can get sick, injured, or may not be here to see tomorrow, next week, next year, or beyond. We value the quality of our life over anything else.

Dave used to care more about his career over where he lived. After the accident, everything changed. That one single event altered his entire perspective. He now places more weight in where we live, vacations, and enjoying our lives, each other, and our family and friends as much as possible. Of course work is also important, but certainly not as much as before. And as for waiting until we retire, never!




17 comments:

  1. YES! YES!! YES!!! You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear this! I'm so fucking happy for you! I try not to use profanity on other people's blogs but this deserves a FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

    Jen's in Tahoe! Jen in her Tahoe in Tahoe! Jen in HER Tahoe in her Tahoe. You finally get to live where you love. I'm so happy for you! Doing a happy dance for you :)

    I wonder what Tahoe looks like in spring.......

    :) :) <3 <3

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    1. Thank you, my dear!

      And...it's absolutely beautiful...just lie every other time of year. You will have to promise to come see for yourself ❤

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  2. Jen,
    This is such great news. Despite my tears, this made me smile.
    I have to tell you that you have been in my thoughts a lot lately.
    If you have time, please feel free to read :www.f1rewyf.blogspot.com
    My heart is heavy, my family all feeling broken.
    I look at you as such an incredibly strong person and I just want you to know....
    I will keep reading the blog and keep hearing about your journey as my family and I
    now try to find our way.

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  3. Woo- hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm so happy for ya'll! This is awesome news. So so happy that ya'll are on the same wavelength. I selfishly look forward to lots of scenic pictures:) How far away is it from where ya'll live now? I can't remember. I hope Dave gets the job he wants and I hope you have successful house hunting/house selling. It's gonna be great!

    P.S. "Jen in her Tahoe in Tahoe." Cameo you crack. me. up.

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    1. Thank you sweets! I promise not to let you down in the picture category! It's an hour and a half. Everything has gone seamlessly...because of a certain someone, or two, or three : )

      Love you!!

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  4. Disneyland may be the happiest place on earth for some people, but I know Tahoe is your happy place. I'm really glad for you and Dave that you've found your way there permanently.

    Dixie

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    1. Oh Dixie...I so love the way you worded this! So true. So true.

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  5. Oh I am so happy for you Jen!!! Tahoe is a very peaceful place. I wish you the best of luck in finding your way up there!

    Hugs,
    Jess

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    1. Thank you Jess! You are so right, and peace is what we so need and want ❤

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  6. Wow - congratulations! So happy for the two of you (and Rainey!).

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  7. So happy for you & Dave. As long as I have been reading your blog you have always wanting to live in Tahoe. Can't wait to hear more! Best Wishes!

    Hugs from Georgia......Denise

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    1. Awww...thank you so much Denise!

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  8. Good for you. Follow your heart and dreams to where they may lead you. I've always loved the beautiful, empty but for the trees expanse on the way back from Grover hot springs. If I had money, I'd own a place there and a place on the coast. I'd really love to see you, if you're up for it.

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    1. Thank you so much Jillian! I'm definitely up for it. Let's make it happen!

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  9. I know what you mean. I'm 3/4 of the way there. I'm in Spanish Springs, NV inching my way to the lake. 'm so excited for you guys!

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