Throughout the years following the accident, I contemplated Aviana's actual death many times. I've played the scenario over in my head. The ending I hoped for was always the same. Never wavering, unchanging.
When her time came, I prayed I would walk into her room and she would have gone peacefully in her sleep. If it should happen, this was my secret dream, one I began sharing with family and friends recently. I so desperately wanted this for her, for us. I thought it would be the best and easiest way. I thought it was all I could handle. It makes perfect sense for someone who was formally terrified of death.
Never wavering. Unchanging. That is, until three weeks ago. I thought, "no way, not ever! All these years, I was wrong." All I want...is for her to die in my arms. All I want is for her last breath to be with me, not in her room, by herself, alone. I want for her to be surrounded by Dave, Rainey and me. I want her to be with us.
But it's not about me. It's about Aviana, and we all know she has her own agenda, so we do our best to respect her ❤
Once again, just when I thought I knew...I really never do. That's what keeps this life interesting, right!