Monday, June 17, 2013

Today

Today, it's a beautiful day.

A perfect 61 degrees right now.

The house is silent.

Aviana is sleeping, peacefully.

Rainey is exhausted from hours of swimming in Lake Tahoe.

We are calm in mind and spirit.

I remember.

Another day started this way...

4 years ago today.

But I have a feeling, 

This day,

Today,

Won't end the same way.

I do however know,

That many people,

Around the world,

Today,

Will experience their own...

Worst day ever.

When life as they formally knew it,

Is over.

Done.

And a new life will appear.

Against their will.

One that is unrecognizable.

One they wish were escapable.

If only, 

They could just crawl back into the former.

As I sit here,

Calm,

And devoid of the complete and total chaos of those first days,

My heart aches for those who are in it.

And the me now,

Wishes to say to the them today,

I know it's bad,

And may always be - to some degree.

How could it not?

But at the same time,

The will for it to be okay,

 Will eventually always shine brighter.

If this helps...

From me to you,

With love.

If possible, choose wisely from the beginning.

Surround yourself in those who love and care for your family...always.

Go easy on yourself, it's a long haul!

Let yourself feel the weight of all that is grief and loss.

Never let anyone tell you how, or when, grieving is right for you.

We all walk a different path on this journey...

And that path - it's our own.

You will never be the same person you once were, don't expect that of yourself.

Embrace the small; beauty lies everywhere we look.

An outlet of some sort is a life saving place to let it all out.

This is a tough one,

But comparison is the root of all evil, it's a lose-lose every time!

Give to and help others, it fills the soul in unimaginable ways.

Laugh whenever, and as much as possible.

If you can, envision the course of a lifetime,

And not just the small of this time frame.

Even though the pain will never fully leave,

You will: 

Smile, 

Live,

Love,

And be happy.

And life -

It's only over,

And done,

If you choose for it to be.

Maybe it's just me.

And this is not you.

Grief is unique,

And shouldn't be pigeonholed.

My love to all who are experiencing their worst.

26 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that anniversaries like this exist.

    I think you are doing a great service to humanity by sharing your wisdom.

    "But comparison is the root of all evil, it's a lose-lose every time!" - you are so right!

    I just lit a candle for you & will be thinking of ya'll today. I love you!

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    1. Thank you Channe! You know, I so love you too!!

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  2. Love this, could not be more true! So sorry you have to go through this.

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  3. I, too, love your comparison statement. It is so true and applies to so many life scenarios. This is a post worth saving!

    Love you,
    Dixie

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    1. Thank you...I am definitely a work in progress. At first it was really hard to not compare her to others...as they progressed. Lately, it's gotten a whole lot better.

      Thank you, thank you, thank you.

      Love you!!

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  4. Comparing! What a nasty little waste of time. Yet, we all do it. Such a complicated habit to break. It surrounds us in every aspect of our life. From the first glance, we size each other up. It runs the gambit, prettier, taller, skinnier, nicer, richer, cooler, funnier, younger, better style, smarter, better mother, better wife, better friend and on and on......... Why, I often wonder,do we allow ourselves to go down that endless never ending road? About twenty years ago I set out to break the comparing cycle in my own life. I have come a long way baby but it was HARD work in the beginning years. When I started being present and grateful for my own life and the beauty there in, I was able to focus all that wasted energy into living a full and giving life. I sometimes fall into the pit again, but not for long. All life is awesome and worth living. It's amazing, I'm not the prettiest, richest, funniest, coolest, etc. but none of that matters. It truly does not. Love is what matters, it is free for the giving and taking. You can never have or give to much. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving. I love my life in all of it's perfect imperfection.

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    1. Beautiful. Every word.

      Comparing Aviana and her injury has been a long process, but finally has gotten much easier and better. I am so thankful for that, because there were some nasty, ugly, dark moments that I was definitely not proud of!

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  5. My Sweet Jen as always your words are so right on, so heart felt and the truth. Please know you, hubby and the "girls" are on my heart always.

    Love y'all!!
    Julie - Texas

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    1. Thank you so much Julie!

      I've always wanted to say y'all, so here goes....

      Love y'all!!!

      Jen

      ; )

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  6. Jen,
    Sending you love today and always. You are so wise.
    Love,
    Tracy

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    1. You are so sweet Tracy...thank you ❤

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  7. Jen, what a beautiful post....you so speak the truth about grief. Giving to others during a time of grief is food for the soul.

    Bless you, Jen....much love to you, my friend.

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    1. Hi Isabel ~

      It's always so nice to see you : )

      Thank you so much, you are too kind...

      Love to you too.



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  8. I have nothing to offer but virtual hugs. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. <3

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    1. Thank you Jillian. Love you a whole bunch!

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  9. Love all your heartfelt writings!!!! I am starting to worry about you though; it has been so long since you have posted. Praying for your family and most especially your precious Avi!! Vicki the Grammy from Memphis

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    1. Oh Vicki...you are just the sweetest! Thank you so much for always checking in on me. I never mean to worry anyone. I just sometimes don't feel I have anything much to say and don't want to write just to write : ) You must have jarred something though, because I got your comment and my most recent post hit me : )

      Love to you...all the way over in Memphis!

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