These memories are forever on ice. Frozen in time. That's what happens when something like this happens. When your child was stopped. Abruptly. They become forever encapsulated in a glass box of memories, protected and guarded in the hearts of the people that knew and loved her most.
Those memories teeter. They delicately balance. They walk a tightrope. When exposed to air, and the light of day, they hinge on wavering emotions. Do we silently assess each others? Or do we just share freely? I'm not so sure. Probably a little of both.
There's a fine line of wanting to remember Aviana, but also wanting to forget her at the very same time. I will forever be so proud of who she was, what she used to do, and say, and my hope is that everyone who knew her, will always remember her too, but the truth is - as more time has passed...I am so thankful for all I have forgotten. Forgetting makes this journey easier in some respects, as remembering is at times just too painful.
There will never be a time in our lives where we don't reflect back on that little girl we once had, as she was such a big part of our lives. We will always look back with pure happiness, great sadness, or most likely...a combination of the two. How can we not, when every single day we look at her now, and at some point - we are reminded of her then?
It was not my intent to delve into all of this with you today. My intent was to share a memory, one of how much Aviana used to love music, and still does. I have always thought I was supposed to be a singer in a Rock n' Roll band, but the problem is - I can't sing. That doesn't stop me from singing to Aviana all day long. And guess what? Because she can't talk...she can't stop me! No really, she likes it. I came on here to share the song she really loves when I sing to her lately. I can kind of tell because she really looks at me. Her eyes go back and forth intently, her arms move, and she looks all lovingly.
I secretly think she likes it so much because it says...
I belong with you, you belong with me
You're my sweetheart
And for other reasons...