Kaiser's Women & Children's Center.
That means that women, and children go to that building for their health needs, right?
Taking care of both women's & children's bodies.
Supping them up, making them work properly again, shipping them home in good order.
What about their precious little, or big should I say, hearts?
Did Kaiser think about their hearts?
Their working, beating, thinking, feeling, hearts?
They forgot about the hearts of these women.
They accidentally forgot about my heart.
Heart Hurt One
I remember after many months of trying to get pregnant, we finally decided to seek help.
I was filling out the paperwork at Kaiser....
Sample Question 1: What's your malfunction junction?
Sample Answer 1: I'm not quite sure. That's why I'm here.
Anyway, I began to see all of these pregnant women coming and going,
Laughing and smiling.
Innocently chatting with the front desk clerk.
Each time I carried my brown bag of sperm in,
after yet another failed turkey baster attempt,
after yet another failed turkey baster attempt,
I had to listen to the same big bellied baby lady/receptionist exchange.
It usually went something like this ~
Receptionist: Oh hi Big Belly Baby Lady. How are you feeling today (ha ha ha)? Are you here for your 42 week appointment? (I don't know weeks because I've never been pregnant, so it's all the same and a foreign language to me.)
Big Belly Baby Lady: Why, yes I am (ha, ha, ha) I feel so good. My gosh! You know, we've already been thinking about baby #5, since it's so easy for us. We're thinking after this one's born, we're going to get pregnant again in April. What do you think?
Receptionist: You're right. It sure has been easy for you. I think that's wonderful. Have you been having anymore cravings lately?
Big Belly Baby Lady: Well you know...I've been craving Western Bacon Cheeseburgers, Triple Bacon of course (get this) with the actual Oreo milkshake poured directly over the top of them. I then use both hands and just shovel it in. Then, I order another one! Ha, Ha, Ha. I have them all hours of the day! I just tell Tom, "hey Tom, I'm craving...you know what that means, now get, and he goes." Ha Ha Ha. Isn't that weird?!? Can you believe that? Eating for two. Eating for two.
Me: Gag!!!! Looking down at my latest brown bag. "Sheesh, I thought it was you that would make me gag, but listening to these tri-weekly interactions will do it every time!!" And by the way, your baby is tiny in comparison to you...may I remind you, it's not eating for two! Never eating for two!!
I call for a redesign.
How about a little redesign?
How about putting all the pregnant chicks somewhere far, far away from the chicks who can't, and in my case, never did get pregnant?!?
What a brilliant idea ; )
Heart Hurt Two
After Aviana's accident she was at Sutter, and then U.C. Davis.
Both were fine.
We then were transferred to Kaiser.
Upon arrival, I was quickly reminded of the good ol' days.
As I was trying to make my way into the lobby to get a badge.
Yeah, a badge....security tighter than Shawshank.
I was blocked by a barrage of It's a Girl balloons.
I thought, WHAT THE???
There were a ton.
Mylar. Pink. White. Mylar. Pink. Pink. Mylar.
It took everything in my power to not swat them out of my face.
Tons of family and friends, giggling and laughing, smiles plastered across their faces.
"Oooohhh, Ahhhh....Don't you just love the name??? I just love the name."
"She's adorable! Isn't she just adorable? Oh you haven't seen her yet? Well, she's adorable."
"Did I say adorable? Because she's adorable. Adorable. Adorable."
"Adorable. Adorably. Adorable. Hee."
As I stuffed myself into the elevator with this jolly crowd, I thought...
My kid just got hit by a car.
She's fighting for her life.
We aren't sure if she's going to live or die.
She just had the most horrific transfer from UC Davis.
She's "storming" and it's the worst site my eyes have ever seen.
And wouldn't you know it,
All thanks to another of Kaiser's well thought out designs,
The whole time I'm here...
Labor and Delivery is the floor below the PICU.
Yep. We all ride up together.
The elevator doors slide open.
Some step out with balloons, smiles, happiness and bliss.
Arms filled with baskets, stuffed animals, and soft blankets.
Elevator doors close.
Elevator doors open again.
The rest of us step out; faint, gaunt, pale.
With tear stained faces, we hold each other tight.
We carry with us hollowed and heavy hearts.
Cancer, Traumatic Brain Injury, Near Drowns, & Car Accident.
These are the types of things the PICU has waiting to welcome us.
Thank you Kaiser.
Thank you for the extra squeeze on the already aching,
No, I'm sorry...
Already trampled upon, heart.
Each time I want a little snack,
I must venture through the sea of ~
It's a BOY.
It's a GIRL,
What about when your kid gets hit by a car?
It's bothersome because it affects the simplest of tasks.
Every time I get a thirsty,
I get caught in the wave of balloons, and banners,
The euphoric joy of the newest baby's arrival, or the first trip home.
I'm not mean.
I'm not a mosquito.
I do not wish to suck the joy out of others.
I just hurt on so many levels.
But you know what?
When I really think about it.
It's in my face, all the time.
Everywhere I look.
There it is.
But, definitely not to this degree.
I suppose at Kaiser,
It shows itself when we are at our most vulnerable,
And to a direct and an exact contrast.
It shows itself when we are staring straight into the eyes of life versus death.
I'm not saying bad things don't happen in Labor and Delivery.
I'm not naive, I know they do.
And boy am I sorry they do!!!!!!!
I'm just saying what I have seen time, and again.
The direct comparison again hurt my heart on our most recent trip back to Kaiser.
I know it's not intentional,
But I do think something needs to be done.
I'm not asking for a separate building,
But how about a separate elevator,
We never ran into this problem at UC Davis,
It makes me wonder.
At these other hospitals,
Are not only our bodies taken into consideration,
But also our very fragile hearts too?